Wednesday, March 19, 2008

10 Easy Ways to Make Yourself Absolutely Miserable

I think that becoming a happier person is not so much about changing external circumstances as it is about changing your thinking.
There are quite a few ways to make yourself miserable. Here are 10 of them that I believe are some of the most popular. I have used them time and time again. I still do from time to time I’d recommend decreasing these thought habits as much as possible. Ditching them all together might be hard. But over time you can cut down on them significantly.

1.Compare everything you do to the lives and accomplishments of other people.
The problem with comparing yourself to others is that there will always be someone with more than you So you get a car that is nicer than the ones your closest neighbours drive. And that feels awesome for a while. But then one day you see the young kid on the next block driving around in his new, cool and expensive sports car. And once again, you don’t feel so good anymore.
A more useful way of thinking is to compare yourself to yourself. Compare the Yesterday’s U to the Today’s U. Make a plan for how you can improve on those areas of your life and appreciate the progress you have made.

2. Go along with what everyone else tells you. And try to please everyone
You cannot live your life through the eyes of everyone else. If you do try to please everyone you may find that some people aren’t pleased anyway. So try to please yourself. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t listen to others. What simply works is that you listen to everybody’s words and opinions , but the final decision is yours.

3.Live in a grave amount of negative thoughts.
What you allow into your mind will affect you. So be selective. First thing stay away from ppl with a negative attitude towards life. It’s not easy to stay optimistic when pessimism is the default mode in your world. Spend Time With Positive People. The worst thing for a negative frame of mind is to mope around feeling sorry for ourselves.

4.Never mix things up or try something new.
Always be happy and don’t try something new. This will most probably lead your life to the most dullest corner.
Remind yourself of the other times when you have tried something and how you most often don’t regret it at all. In fact, you probably had a pretty good time. Even if it hurts there is nothing like dirtying your hand to do something new.

5.Spend too much of your time in the past and/or the future
This is a sure killer. The thing is just that if you spend much time in the past or present then thoughts tend to spiral a bit out of control. You start to over think. You imagine future scenarios in an almost compulsive way. You come to conclusions even before problems arrive.
6.Focus on what you don’t want
Swami Vivekananda says “You become what you think”. So when you start thinking what you don’t want, it automatically gains on you. So think wat you want and end up chasing it rather than crying over wat you don’t want.

7.Spend your time looking for magic pills.
Reading a book on personal development won’t solve your problems. It’s kinda devious though because reading the book can make you feel like you are making progress. But without action there is little progress.
But this pleasant feeling of making progress can become addictive. It gives you an emotional high. So you read another book. And another. And you become a personal development junkie.
Always looking for that one thing that will change your life. But there are no real magic pills. Some books are certainly more helpful than others. Especially if they wind up in your hand at the right time. But it is no substitute for taking action. Someone might try to sell you something that they promise will bring big rewards with basically no action your part. That’s probably just a sales technique. The product itself may be good, great or useless. You never really know. You just have to try it out by taking action and see for yourself. That action of yours yields the results not the product. Remember tools are just “tools” ,its You who drives it.

8.Always be looking for and relying on external validation
This can be a huge one. External validation is basically that someone other than you validates you. They might tell you that you are smart, pretty, cool, successful etc. They tell you something that tells you that you are a person of value.
Now, this may sound all well and good. Getting compliments is wonderful. The problem is just that if you need validation from others then you let the outside world, other people, control how you feel.
You do that by validating yourself
You think about how awesome you are. You appreciate how far you have come and the positive things you have done. You appreciate your own value in the world. You set goals and you achieve those goals. This builds confidence in yourself and in your abilities.

9.Take all things too seriously
Being hard on yourself just seems to create a lot of negativity and problems within yourself. So takes things a little soft. This has its benefits .Look at complex problems in simple and jovial way ,you will probably end up with astonishing results rather than taking thins serious and toiling it through your mind.

10.Always stick to easier non-risky jobs.
Ah! What a pleasure to hear. Safe in the harbor ,bur are ships built for this. When u start to play things safe u tend to get softer gradually and end up really dull in any work. Choose to be proactive and ready –to-go. This will surely make you a winner.

According to me all these 10 ways will surely help you make your life a miserable one. Follow this and make life miserable or skip all this and be a winner , it all depends in what you take and how you take.


jibak said...

These are really helpful, but modern day complications of life sometimes drives us so deep, there's actually no way but running into these....:)

Ajay Bharathi said...

ya mann very true. these are yet another list of good-to-haves.